I was around 8 or 9 when I became aware of my sexuality.
Unfortunately, my parents were incredibly narrow-minded and filled with judgment. I only had one distant relative who was out, and all I heard through family was his struggle with disease, drugs, and alcoholism. My view was this was simply the consequence for anyone who followed their “fleshly” desire.
My beliefs have changed so much and in so many ways! I’ve found myself more and more respectfully retuning so many of the beliefs I was handed as a child. My views on human sexuality, God, relationships, and interpretation of the Scriptures contrasts greatly in many ways from how I was taught.
The Liturgists Podcast episode 20 was a pivotal moment for me and the first time I came out to myself. God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines provided excellent support in bringing context to the verses I always understood to demonize anyone non-straight. From there, Twitter threads, blog posts, and YouTube videos all sharing the common thread of “I am ____ and I love Jesus” blew my mind and helped me realize I wasn’t alone.
How would I describe my life now? Fully out now (yay!), though sadly rejected by my parents. Currently, I can best describe my religious views as mystic-Christian. I’m in therapy and entering a reconstruction phase of spirituality.