I remember being 5 years old, in Sunday school, being attracted and drawn to 2 other young girls in my Sunday school class. Yet I suppressed it for many years because I grew up in a non-denominational Christian church. Early in my life, I thought being LGBTQ+ was wrong and a sin. My father used to spit on the ground in disgust when he saw gay men, especially when he would see them kissing. He would express how nasty it was.
One time during my young teenage years, my friend was lying down on the bed, and her shirt had risen up exposing a little bit of her stomach, and I went to protect her body from him as he walked in the room. He thought I was looking at her in a sexual way and called me Lesbian in a derogatory way. It made me cry so hard. I pleaded I wasn’t lesbian because he made it seem so wrong to be one.
How have my beliefs changed over time? Oh man! I love God so much! I had an experience back in February 2015 when I had broken up with my ex-girlfriend. I thought my life wasn’t going as planned because I was lesbian, and I just desired the blessings of God over my life. A few weeks later we got back together and were intimate.
The next morning, I cried all the way home asking God to forgive me. As I was crying in my shower, a very prominent thought came to my mind which I believe was God and it said, “What are you afraid of ? Nothing can ever separate you from my Love. There’s no fear in absolute Love.” Romans 8 instantly came to mind. From that day forward, my relationship with the Most High has become stronger than ever, and I am proud to be a masculine presenting lesbian!
What resources were important for me? Lots of self-love, a deep knowing of how much God loves me exactly as I am provided I’m not using my sexuality to hurt other people, and a lot of positive affirmations. Plus, prayer and meditation. I listen to Chakra music, and believe it or not, I listened to a lot of Bethel Music! (It breaks my heart Bethel is doing this to the LGBTQ+ community because their music literally healed me so much.) And living with no fear! Being fearless has given me such a humble confidence to be me!
My life now is a beautiful, miraculous, Divine gift! I have my ups and downs, yet finding my identity in Christ and knowing how I am forever loved by the One who created me is a breathtaking feeling. I hope everybody gets to their highest level of Self-Acceptance, because once you accept yourself, only Peace follows thereafter.