Cori Calico
I realized I was gay my Junior year of college. I was 21 years old and met a girl at the gym. I had kissed a few girls through college, but always thought it was just a “phase” I would grow out of. I soon realized that the feelings I had for this girl were so much stronger than I ever thought possible. It was scary to me because I was such a strong Christian and had been praying for God to “heal” me of my same-sex desire for so long. I was afraid to feel those feelings for a woman. Then when I met Jess, my now Fiancé in 2017, I realized that this love is different. It’s real and passionate and intimate. An experience and a feeling I’d never had with a man.
I was raised believing that homosexuality was a sin, that LGBTQ+ people didn’t go to Heaven and that their sin was ultimately an abomination in the eyes of God. I grew up Southern Baptist and in a very conservative family. I didn’t know a single gay, Christian person until my Senior year of college. My mom was always very outspoken about the fact that she thought homosexuality was “gross” and made sure I knew her beliefs on it. She has come so far and is so supportive of our relationship and our love now. But it definitely wasn’t easy growing up.
They didn’t change until I met Jess in person. Even before we met, we were “praying the gay away” together. We did Bible studies and called each other after each failed date with a guy. Three months later we met in person and fell in love immediately! I did a lot of studying. I read several books during my later years in college and the summer after. I dove deep into the theology of homosexuality and the Bible. I read God and The Gay Christian by Matthew Vines and that was really the book that solidified my beliefs. Ultimately, I read a lot about celibacy and realized that celibacy is a gift, not a mandate. To say that a person who is attracted to the same sex must be celibate is not Biblical. That was the biggest thing for me in making my decision: realizing that God loved me for me. That He created me on purpose and for a purpose. I began to understand that celibacy is a gift for some but should never be a mandate. I also realized that we are known by our fruit and a good tree cannot produce bad fruit. Since coming out, the fruit of my life has been beautiful. Pointing my partner and others to Christ daily!
The Reformation Project was probably the biggest one. Reading God and the Gay Christian, Unclobber by Colby Martin, and Torn by Justin Lee were the 3 books that really helped me. Also the YouTube video that Matthew Vines has called “The Gay Debate”. Those were the things that really helped me along with meeting a real life Gay Christian at my work and hearing her story and realizing that it is possible to have a beautiful life with a same-sex partner and still follow God!
My life is full. I am getting married to the woman of my dreams in less than 4 months and I’m SO full of joy. My relationship with Jesus has flourished since coming out and my heart is no longer resentful towards God. I am thriving and using my story to help other LGBTQ+ individuals that have been kicked out of churches, families and jobs due to their sexual orientation. I am seeking to use my platform to impact the world and bridge the gap between the Church and the LGBTQ+ community.